My Home Birth Story

“My baby will be born at the perfect time”

The week leading up to Vivian’s birth was generally very good, but also challenging. We live in a culture that is so used to being able to schedule things and plan ahead, but natural onset of labor isn’t like that. It is unpredictable and requires you to be ready, but also wait.

Wednesday, my due date, I felt impatient and overwhelmed. But Thursday, I woke up with a strong sense of peace- she would come when she was ready and that was perfectly OK.

“I have time and can get some rest”

Thursday night as I was laying down to sleep, I had a few contractions. Stronger than what I’d had in the previous weeks. Could this be it? My excitement began to rise, with a hint of nerves. Should I do something yet? The feeling of peace from that morning returned. I practiced my calming breath and repeated to myself “I have time and can get some rest.”

I woke up at about 5:30am, and wasn’t actively contracting. I felt a bit of disappointment, but the feeling of peace returned. I couldn’t help but think I would have my baby that day. I dozed a bit, snuggled up to Joseph. Around 6:30 I started noticing contractions. Joseph was supposed to leave for work soon, but we decided we would wait an hour, and if things didn’t pick up he would go in late.

“I trust my husband to create and protect the space I need to relax and go within”

That turned out to be a good idea, because the frequency and intensity of the contractions picked up quickly. I ate some yogurt for breakfast and contacted my sisters, doula and photographer to be ready.

My mom took William outside. Joseph supported me through the next few hours of contractions with counterpressure, hair brushing, and light massage. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks that have been key throughout both of my pregnancies.

When we timed the contractions, I was surprised that they were lasting about 45 seconds and about two and a half minutes apart. I needed to focus through them, but they were definitely still within the realm of manageable. I updated my midwife and she said she would be on her way soon.

“I feel the strength of generations of women”

Around 11, Joseph needed lunch, so I followed him downstairs, but was not interested in eating. After a few contractions without counterpressure, I had to keep stopping him mid-bite to squeeze my hips. Fortunately, my midwife’s assistant came just then and was able to support me while Joseph ate. I also asked my mom to braid my hair. It made me think about many loving moments from my childhood, and her awe of birth that influenced me so positively. I drew strength knowing she had done this before, and so had my grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

“My body and my baby know exactly what to do”

Just before noon, my midwife arrived, almost at the same time as my doula. I decided to have her do a cervical check. She immediately started laughing. When we asked her why, she said- “you’re already at an 8, actually make that a 9.”

We all started laughing too. I was astonished that I had made it that far fairly comfortably. I felt very calm and knew that my baby would arrive soon.

My doula, Bethany, started the bath and Joseph called my sisters, laughing, he told them to come right away. I quickly texted my photographer- hoping she’d make it in time.

My midwife looked me in the eye and said “when your water breaks, you will have the baby.” So I got in the tub. I retreated inward as a flurry of preparation erupted around me. Joseph and Bethany helped me through contractions as they came. We were all giddy with my progress, and made jokes between contractions. I also told them that I didn’t want to know what time it was, but that I would want to know afterwards.

My sisters arrived shortly and my mom brought in William. My midwife said I started sounding “pushy” at 12:36, but managing really well still.

“The discomfort I may feel can’t compare to the joy that is coming”

I rode the waves, focusing on my breath, Joseph’s presence and Bethany reading affirmations. I got into a squatting position with Bethany supporting me from behind.

When my midwife could feel a head, she had Joseph and then me feel it. It helped me know I was close and would soon be meeting my baby.

However, the sensations were extremely strong, and I was starting to lose focus. My hands felt tingly- a sign that I wasn’t inhaling deeply enough.

I leaned up over Joseph and asked my midwife if she thought I should have my water broken. Always respectful, she said “It’s entirely up to you- it could speed things up.”

I had hoped to have a completely intervention-free birth, so I said, “three more contractions and if it doesn’t break then I’ll have you do it.”

The very next contraction, at 1:15pm, I felt a pop and knew they had ruptured.

“Inhale peace, Exhale tension”

Relief and gratitude swept over me. I was able to take some deep, calming breaths. I leaned back into Bethany and anchored my gaze on Joseph’s face.

I jokingly asked “I can’t just quit, right?”

Her head was descending lower, and I could feel it. I knew she was getting very, very close. The urge to push began to be irresistible. I felt her crown, and then withdraw at the end of a contraction. I took a deep breath. The next contraction, I felt the ring of fire, but kept pushing, her head was out. Another minute, my midwife told me to keep pushing. As I pushed, the burning fire intensified, I roared as her shoulders and body emerged.

1:30 Vivian entered mortality.

“Trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home.”

Relief. Gratitude. Awe.

My temporarily purple, red-headed little girl was here. She was perfect. I was done- pretty much.

We spent several blissful, glorious minutes in the tub, in awe of this perfect girl. William was ecstatic. He came out of the shower where he’d been watching with Grandma- he kept saying “no way! Baby sister!” and giggling and laughing. He wanted to help, he grabbed the nasal aspirator and offered it to her. William also said “Baby, you want a shirt? OK!”

“It is said that women in labor leave their bodies. They travel to the stars to collect the souls of their babies and return to this world together.”

I felt a few contractions and knew the placenta was coming. I got out of the tub, sat on the birth stool and it was immediately delivered. There were some retained pieces of membrane, which my skilled midwife quickly and kindly took care of. As they helped me stand to go to the bed, I felt a rush in my head and nearly passed out, four sets of loving hands supported me and my baby and gently lowered me to the floor. A reminder that what I had just done required nearly all of my strength.

“Heaven lies about us in our infancy!”

Once back in bed, I continued to relish in my miraculous little girl. I also asked for food, which my sweet mother quickly brought. Vivian enthusiastically latched and contentedly suckled. My team all stepped out of the room- stitches could wait. Cord cutting could wait. Weighing and measuring baby could wait.

For now, Joseph and I basked in a perfect, golden hour with Vivian.