Sixth baby, First home birth Story

This is the beautiful birth story of a client of mine who gave permission to share it here.

Friday night, 8 days past my due date, I started having regular contractions on the way home from my son's choir performance in Salt Lake. After a couple weeks of being dilated at a 3, I knew I could go into labor at anytime now. I figured that this being my 6th baby that things would happen pretty fast once I went into labor.

After trying to go to bed I knew I wasn't going to be getting much sleep that night with contractions every 10-15 mins apart but they weren't very intense and I could just breathe through them pretty easily. My doula and mom and sister decided to come over just in case things progressed that night. Through the night they helped me with counter pressure, ball bouncing, and counter swaying. I lived up to every pregnant lady stereotype when all I wanted to eat or drink was pickle juice. I finally was able to get to sleep at about 5 am and got some sleep and I think I just slept through most of my contractions because I was so tired. In the morning we mostly just lounged watching some Christmas movies and relaxing. It was frustrating because my contractions hadn't seemed to progress in time or intensity. I had my mom, sister and doula go home because I wasn't needing any support through my contractions. I was able to go to bed early that night wondering if this would be the night that things progressed.

At about 2:30am I was woken up by more intense contractions. I called my doula waking her up and saying. "I could really use you now!" They were much more intense to where I couldn't just breathe through them but I had to make a low groaning sound to be able to get through the discomfort. Although through the night the contractions picked up in intensity they did not in frequency. She suggested we not time the contractions anymore because it was frustrating to me to keep stalling or not making progress.

There were so many lessons to learn during the birth process: Patience, no expected timeline, and surrendering. I am so used to having a set date and time that I would go in to be induced. With all 5 of my other births I'm so used to it following a linear timeline of progression and having a finish line that is clearly marked. When you are at the hospital you are on their timeline and if it isn't following that then you do intervention. Letting my body do its natural rhythm and being patient with that unknown process was a totally new concept that I hadn't ever allowed before. I learned to surrender to whatever happened. If he wanted to be 10 days late, let him. If my body keeps stalling, let it. Surrender to the process. I don't think our culture (especially me) is accustomed to the normalness that birth can be a very long process and that's okay.

By Sunday morning after over a day and 2 nights of laboring I wondered how many much longer I would be in this cycle of contractions picking up at night and stalling by morning. I was pretty exhausted from being up all night and then the interrupted sleep during the day. My midwife came over that morning and asked if I wanted some primrose oil, which can help get things going which I felt was a good option to naturally do that. We were all surprised to find out that I was already dilated to a 5! I will never forget her saying, "You are going to have a baby today! This afternoon, very soon." Quite honestly I wanted to believe her but I had doubts that I would ever NOT be pregnant anymore. It's funny how completely not logical I was about it but my pregnancy brain and hormones just couldn't quite believe this could ever happen on its own.

Sunday afternoon it was time for the kids and Tyler to leave for church. I helped get the kids ready and even curled Tessa's hair which was a nice distraction. We debated whether to have Tyler go to church but he ended up going for about an hour and when he arrived back was exactly when things started to really pick up. Not long after the midwife said I was now dilated to a 7! I began to get really emotional and started crying realizing that this was it! It was like I had all the emotions of the past 2 days built up and needed to release them. I was thrilled, excited, scared, hopeful and at peace all at the same time anticipating what the next hour would hold. I was overcome with emotion at this moment and it was a really sweet to be comforted by everyone.

The bath tub was filled and I was ready to get in. The feeling of first getting in the warm water was so soothing and I was so grateful I had decided to do a water birth. It was such a peaceful atmosphere with the blinds open and the sun setting with it being just after 4pm, the candles were flickering and I had all my affirmation posters that my doula placed to surround me all over the room. My mom placed my favorite one right in plain sight in front of me. It said, "I feel the strength of generations of women" with the picture of my 2 grandmothers (who I knew well but have both passed), and 4 great grandmothers underneath it. In preparation for this birth I have thought about the maternal strength that has been passed down by generations that had given me strength and would help me through the birth. It was a sweet moment having my mom by my side guiding Tessa in massaging my head and comforting me and then the picture of my grandma and great mothers. I like to think that angels were there to help me.

The next 45 mins got really intense. As I hit transition I was surprised how much I needed the support of everyone in the room. It felt like all my preparation in mediating and breath work went out the window and all I could do was focus on what they were telling me to do in the moment. When the pain got intense I forgot deep breathing and would start to pant and everyone would help me return to the deep belly breaths. I just remember all I could say and think was... "How many more (contractions)?!!!" I remember being frustrated because no one would answer me. I actually thought they knew and just wouldn't tell me. Again...not my most logical moment. :) My midwife asked if I would like for me to have her break my water since things were progressing and it hadn't broken yet. I opted to have her break it so that I could continue to progress. It did because I had to throw up which they say actually means you are really close to pushing since the act of throwing up helps the baby to go deeper into the right position in the birth canal.

Finally I felt the urge to push. I flipped over on my back so I could catch him better and my midwife guided as I started to push and he started to crown. Before long his whole head was out and under the water but because his shoulders were big he went back inside and we had to start over on the next contraction to push him out. (After he was born, the midwife had someone measure the broadness of his shoulders because of the extra effort it took to push him out, sure enough she was amazed they were 16 cm across. I still don't understand how that works with being dilated to 10 cm, but I guess that's why I still tore a little bit).

I was hopeful this would be the last and quite frankly I didn't feel I had the strength but just pushed anyway. It felt like pushing up against a cement wall. Nothing can prepare you for the most pain you've ever felt in your life. I have not experienced hardly any pain in my life with not even ever breaking a bone, so I genuinely wondered what that would feel like and how I would handle it. The only way I can describe it would be is that you feel like you are in another realm. I had my eyes closed and could only see black and my mind was just so focused on whatever I had to do to get out of pain.

For the next push, I didn't feel like I was doing anything, but thank goodness it was because I heard my moms voice, "HE'S OUT!" What fascinated me was that the pain immediately went away the instant he was completely out. I was able to reach down and grab him and bring him to my chest. I thought that moment would be all about the baby but it surprised me how much I was focused on the RELIEF I felt to be out of pain and for it to be over. I just kept sighing and saying, "thank goodness it's over, I'm so relieved over and over again. Tyler was holding me and the baby and it was a special moment for us. The the rush of endorphins and emotions came. It's just surreal meeting the human that I've been growing for 9 months. Even though I have given birth 5 other times it never ceases to surprise me that it really is a fully developed human baby in there.

I got out of the tub and got on the birth stool to birth the placenta which came 12 mins later. The midwifes assistants took lots of pics of the placenta and were amazed it was in a heart shape. While I was on the birth stool I tried nursing for the first time because I could tell he wanted to. He latched right away and I knew he would be a great nurser! My mom joked that he was so big he came out asking for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. :)

I moved to my bed where after about 30 minute or so when the umbilical cord stopped pulsing my mom cut the cord. Then the baby got his newborn exam while I needed a few stitches from the tear when his shoulders came out. I have had tearing on all 5 other births but was happy to know that it was less tearing (prob from the water birth) than my others even though it was my biggest baby. During the newborn exam is when we found out that he was 9 pounds 10 ounces. He honestly didn't look huge but he was big because he was 23 inches long! They decided to measure that twice just to make sure because it is off the charts in length.

My 3 youngest were interested in being there for the birth. They were looking on from my bedroom into the bathroom. My two oldest came in after he was born. Then after we all got cleaned up we got to take our first family photo and have all the kids hold their baby brother.

After waiting for 2 years to get pregnant after failed IVF and months of infertility treatments and then a long and uncomfortable 9 months of pregnancy with being so sick and then over 36 hours of laboring this long awaited moment all together as a family made it all worth it.