My Sublime Birth Experience

Birth Story of my first child in February 2021

What do you think of when you think of giving birth?

Pain. Contractions. Scary. Screaming. Hectic. 

Or maybe you think:

Miracle. Peaceful. Powerful. Empowering. Life-giving. Life-changing.

If you’d asked me that question two years ago, I would have definitely given you some of those first adjectives. But little by little, mostly by talking to others who had positive birth experiences, I began to think of birth using those positive adjectives. I am so glad that I did! I hope that we can begin to see a cultural shift to where we can see birth for what it can be. Perhaps I can help you shift your mindset as well! Here is the birth story of my first baby boy.

Baby William came into the world at 3:58 on Valentine’s day 2021. He weighed 7 lbs and 8 oz and was 21 inches long.

Early Labor

The day’s leading up to William’s birth were very special days. My husband and I decided to do something romantic together each day in the week leading up to his birth. We didn’t do very many extravagant things, we mostly watched movies, snuggled and got food together. It was very memorable to prepare for our little one by strengthening our relationship.

I slept very well Saturday to Sunday. But I woke up at about 7:00/30 from a contraction. I had had quite a few small, inconsistent contractions in the days before, but this one was stronger than most. I decided to get up and thought I might as well get my hair curled for church and Valentine’s day since I had extra time (ha- that didn’t last long!)

The contractions continued, but weren’t too strong, so I decided to go to church at 8:30am. But as I walked to church, I was surprised how strong some of my contractions were. That made me start to think these might be more than just practice contractions. About halfway through church, I decided to start timing them. Remarkably, they were already about 4 minutes apart and 30 to 50 seconds long.

I called my midwife, and she joked that today would be a convenient day for her to help us have our baby. I commented that we also had nothing else to do either. She told me to keep timing the contractions and go about my day as much as possible, and to let her know if I thought I needed to go in.

By about 10:30 a.m., the contractions were about 3 minutes apart. I tried to keep distracting myself, but it was getting harder to do. I kept trying to relax by breathing, bouncing on my exercise ball and watching a movie. At about 12, I knew it was time to go in. I called my midwife and she said she would meet me at the birth center. 

Time to Go in!

The car ride was tough, but manageable. I put on my music playlist and that helped me not focus on the contractions.

We got there around 12:30, but arrived before my midwife was there so the door was still locked. I stayed in the car for a few minutes, but that was not comfortable. I got out when she texted me that she was 5 minutes away- but it was cold and I had to go to the bathroom. Those contractions were tougher than the others! It’s definitely a good idea to have an empty bladder while in labor!

She arrived and I rushed to the bathroom, which was a huge relief. Then I went upstairs to the birthing room. While there, I used the ball, knelt and walked around. My husband supported my with counterpressure during contractions and light massages in between. My midwife checked my blood pressure and the babies heart tones, but she said she preferred to wait to check dilation because it can cause labor to slow down.

We called my sister-in-law, who had agreed to also help support me during labor, and she arrived around 1:30. During that time, I continued to try my best to relax through contractions and move in various positions that felt good. I mostly leaned over the exercise ball on the bed, or stood with my arms around my husband. Although I had practiced hypnobirthing and relaxation throughout my pregnancy, I still found it difficult not to tense up during each contraction. Particularly because they were quickly getting more intense. After a while, my midwife came and checked my dilation. She said I was at about a 6. She also noted that my water still hadn’t broken. She offered to break it for me, but I declined, because I wanted things to go as naturally as possible for as long as possible.

Transition

I did ask to get in the tub. THAT was amazing. I really enjoyed being in the warm water- it helped me relax much more and focus more on positive thoughts. However, the contractions got even more intense as I went through transition. The break between contractions is key. There is so much peace that can come in those few moments. I quickly noticed that when I used that time to tell myself encouraging things and rest, the contractions were much easier to get through. Unfortunately, sometimes between the contractions I would instead spend dreading the next one. Unsurprisingly, those were the hardest to get through. I hope I can do even better next time I have a baby and staying relaxed and calm!

I don’t know when, but at some point my midwife checked me again and said I was fully dilated! She said I could start pushing if I felt like it. 

I didn’t feel like it for a while, but eventually I started trying to. It was kind of hard to feel like I was in a good position in the tub- my midwife suggested I turn so I was kneeling in the tub with my knees slightly together and my feet further apart- that was definitely a better position but it still felt a bit cramped.

After a while she asked me if I’d like help with pushing I said yes and she put her fingers there and instructed me to push them out. I tried, but wasn’t very successful. But while she was in there she said she could feel my waters bulging and asked me if I’d like her to break them. This time, I decided that the chance that this would help speed thing up was more important than remaining totally intervention free.

She broke my waters and as they rushed out, she said “it’s tinged.” I knew that meant that baby had passed meconium (first poop). That made me nervous because I know it can cause complications. I still felt fairly at peace though and had a feeling that everything would be ok- but I also knew we didn’t have tons of time before it could be potentially dangerous for my baby. 

My midwife stayed calm, but subtly started continuously monitoring his heart tones. Not long after she broke my waters, I felt like I needed to get out of the tub so I could use gravity more. 

Pushing Phase

I asked to try the birth stool. I sat on it for a while, but it was so wide, I felt like I was slipping off. So she grabbed her “squatty potty”- it’s basically a stool that you can put your feet on, but she had me stand on it and squat. 

My husband sat on the birth stool behind me and helped me stay upright. By this point, I was REALLY tired and honestly felt a bit overwhelmed. Shortly afterwards, my midwife used a mirror to show me his head crowning. I reached down and touched it and it was so amazing to see the beginning of the end in sight. It gave me strength that I didn’t know I had. 

This was the most intense part of labor. I started to feel the urge to push for the first time. It felt A LOT like a really big need to poo. I pushed HARD as well because I instinctively felt that I needed to get the baby out quickly in order to keep him safe (meconium). As I pushed, there wasn’t a clear distinction between a contraction and not, but I did try to take a few moments break from pushing occasionally. 

I also felt a fierce “ring of fire” as the baby’s head began to emerge. This maybe should have been a signal to me to slow down and allow more time for my body to stretch, but it also was so extreme that I felt more like pushing through and shortening this phase than prolonging the stinging. In hindsight, the speed and effort I used to push may have been best to get him out quickly to keep him safe from the meconium.

Suddenly, the whole baby came out at once! His head, shoulders and body came shooting out like a rocket and it seemed like my midwife just barely caught him. This was an instance of Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER). Half a second later, she put him in my arms. I cannot begin to adequately express the feeling of having that baby in my arms. Instantly, all the pain was completely irrelevant. He was so warm and wet and began quietly crying quickly. I felt powerful because I had done something so magnificent.

After he was in my arms, my midwife instructed my husband to help me to the bed. I was bleeding a lot and she was worried about the amount of blood. I laid down with my beautiful baby in my arms. I felt so much relief and joy. I experienced such exhilaration that I didn’t care if I was in danger from blood loss. It didn’t matter because I had done it. My baby was safely here. I just held him and marveled in the miracle of life. 

Afterbirth

Meanwhile, my midwife began massaging my belly and asking me to push one last time to get the placenta out. I weakly pushed and she pulled a bit and it came out. Compared to birthing the baby, it was easy.

She then got me a drink she’d prepared in case I hemorrhaged and instructed me to drink it all. She also gave me a shot of pitocin to stimulate more uterine contractions to stem the flow of blood. I guess I mostly stopped bleeding she told me I would need a few stitches, but that they could wait.

I just enjoyed my beautiful wet baby on my chest. I gave him a chance to try eating for a little bit and he did attach to each breast for a few precious moments. My husband also cut the umbilical cord.  

I wish words could do justice to the feeling of holding my warm, wet (and poop-covered) baby in my arms. He was so perfect and clearly he knew me. His eyes were open, taking in the new strange world he had just entered. I couldn’t believe, but also knew deeply that this little guy was the one who had already been with me for so long. My husband snuggled up close to us and I knew that together we had brought this beautiful person into the world and that we are an eternal family.  

I did eventually have to get the stitches. I had 4 small tears in different places. The midwife said none of them were particularly bad, but since they were bleeding a lot they’d need to be stitched. They were both very reassuring, telling me they would heal quickly since it was natural tearing- which did end up being the case!

After they were done stitching me, I held William again and rested for a while. We got some cute pictures, got cleaned up a bit and generally enjoyed the first few moments of our beautiful new family. 

They also checked William out, they measured and weighed him as well as gave him the Vitamin K shot. He cried at the pain of the needle. As I spoke reassuring words to him, he stopped crying and turned his head towards me. My little baby gave me a look that clearly said “I know who you are and I believe it will be okay.”

Conclusion

Giving birth was truly an amazing experience. I felt so powerful, so grateful for my body and so strong. I had a fast labor for a first time mom- just over 8 hours total and only 15 minutes of true pushing. I think that preparation was crucial to my sublime labor and birth experience. My physical preparation involved eating healthy, exercising regularly (mostly walking and yoga and some squats), going to a chiropractor, eating dates and drinking raspberry leaf tea.

However, the most important preparation I did was mentally. The knowledge I had about birth gave me confidence and really helped me understand that I was built to birth. Giving birth was a life-changing experience that has changed the way that I think about my body and my mind. Most importantly, it has changed my heart. I felt so much love for my little boy and my husband. My heart truly grew and has just kept growing since.